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Monday, November 21, 2005 

The_Lex's Thesis/Plan, the Topic on Everyone's Mind

I just thought I would prop up this topic to another main entry becuase it's old enough.

After this initial framing, things will become clear enough. Sister Novena wrote:

This is probably coming too late to be noticed, but...

In support of Lex's reluctance to finish his Plan, I'd just point out that I'm actually very glad I took seven years to get back to it after leaving That School. Firstly because, frankly, the faculty in my subject at the time I left just wasn't up to snuff, but more importantly because I could not possibly have done as good a job at 22 as I've done at 29. Part of that is just down to the increased discipline that comes with age, but a lot more of the credit goes to having spent the intervening years working in the field. I came back to finish because I'd spent seven years thinking and doing, gradually building little theories and taking reams of mental notes, and evenutally got to a place in life where I wanted to sit down for a while and codify all the ideas that had collected in my mind, take some time to sort out my thoughts.

I've nearly finished that process now, and while the Plan I've ultimately written has little to do with the one I began years ago, and doesn't look all that much like the one I intended to write a year ago, it's exactly the Plan I needed to write. No, having written it won't make much difference to my professional life, but it's done a hell of a lot for my intellectual and creative life, and I'm glad to have done it. I'm even more glad to have waited until I could do it with the accumulated knowledge of years in the field behind me.

Lex, you'll know when you're ready to finish that Plan; no need to rush anything. If it's not going to make any difference anyway, you might as well wait until you can do one that might mean something to you personally.

Posted by Sister Novena | Saturday, November 19, 2005 7:40:16 PM

Thanks for the support, Sister.

I also can empathize with a lot of what you've said.

Nonetheless, I take exception to labelling my sentiment toward not finishing my Plan by now as "reluctance." I would rather address it as "incapability." Calling it "reluctance," I feel, feeds into the "just do it" rhetoric and the feeling I get of other people pretty much attributing a character flaw to me. I would rather be incapable then have a character flaw (even some might consider my stubborness a character flaw).

And I haven't actively been reluctant to finish my Plan. I've tried my damdest to do it. I just simply haven't been able to do so because I haven't met the conditions of having the necessary facts and concepts. Once I get those, I'm set.

Now, lately though, I've been having problems with time and priority management. If I didn't have those management issues, I would probably be dancing with joy at the progress I make with it. I can't wait until the holidays end, I get a job in Chicago and move there. . .work will actually get done this huge project of mine.

Posted by The_Lex | Monday, November 21, 2005 12:41:00 PM (with some revision)

Entry By The_Lex

Sometimes when you're trying too hard, you get stuck. When you think about something too much, you get paralyzed.

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