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Tuesday, December 06, 2005 

Misty, watercolored

While many of us have The School That Dares Not Speak Its Name in common, not all of us knew one another while there. And then there's those who went to school somewhere else entirely, and spent their halcyon days bitching and moaning about some other academic administration and the budding lameness of some other student body that just isn't as active or engaged or eccentric as it was [insert value] years ago.

So, in the interests of fostering community, I propose we adopt a certain meme that's been making the rounds of the bloggosphere, namely:

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, even if we don't speak often, please post a comment with a COMPLETELY MADE UP AND FICTIONAL MEMORY OF YOU AND ME.

It can be anything you want--good or bad--BUT IT HAS TO BE FAKE.

For our purposes, post a memory about any member of this blog, regardless of whether you knew them or not. And please, no genuine reminiscences.
Entry By Nora

I remember all the times when I beat your boyfriend at pool while you were watching it. He was very sad by the time the game ended, looking for comfort to repair his shattered soul after I defeated him - my grace and skill defeating his miscues - and all the times he shot the pool cue off of the table and it travelled 10 miles away into the next town over.

...I became king pool man for the whole college that year. All men and women bowed down to the king pool man!

Hey, The_LEx remember that time you and I went for a walk in the rain with our mugs of hot chocolate? And we wandered down this funny little path in the woods we'd never been down before, and we were walking and talking and all of a sudden, my ear starts to ich, and this tiny humunculous comes out, and starts jumping up and down and yelling about esse est percepi or some such nonsense in this high, sqeaky voice, and you laughed so hard hot chocolate came out of your nose?

That was rad.

Remember when that person spread feces all over the toilet seat in that far off remote dorm? Damn that was nasty!

Do you remember the time when we stole Mrs Simmons' false teeth? tht was hilarious, seeing her walk around with no teeth all day! but of course we gave it back to her again... 2 months later, tht is

Remember when all of us -- the whole crowd -- went ice skating in costume? I wore a top hat, Shaw wore that nifty little thing with the fringes, Greensmile put in his neon dentures and Sister Novena wore the habit with, well, you remember.

Anyway, we'd been out for hours and hours, and Eel's cheeks were so flushed it looked like he'd stuffed apples in his mouth and gone all translucent all of a sudden. So Miah decided we should all probably go in, and most of us agreed even though that Ethan kid wanted to stay, and he was wearing a really snazzy jump suit which gave him a definite air of authority.

But yeah, so we decided we should head in. And as we headed back along the ice toward the copse of trees where we'd stashed our boots and things, we could see another crowd coming out onto the pond, all bundled up in snazzy gear and ready to skate. As we got closer, heliosmash said, and I'll never forget this: "whoa."

Because as we passed the crowd of skaters, we realized that the were each of our exact doubles, down to the blond fuzz on The_Lex's cheeks, down to the floaty scarf The Librarian was wearing.

They didn't seem to see us, and their manner and affect were so listless and disturbing that we all just kept on going, not looking to the right or left or back to where our doubles, behind us now, were performing silent axels and mazurkas on the ice.

And so we put our boots on in silence and trudged back to the Howland common room, where we drank mulled cider and Shaw regaled us with obscure song lyrics until the world outside turned blue and then gold and it was day again.

Yeah, taking those 20,000 tabs of acid each was so cooooooool. . .the memories.

Oh yeah, there was the time Town Meeting turned into a tag team wrestling match complete with ropes and a bell! Shaw teamed up with Tim Little and that helioshamash guy to beat Mr. Cubed and his band of merry poseurs to a pulp.

It was the one time those hard-ass enchiladas came in handy...for throwing at people during the riots afterward!

I'll never forget the look on The Bonjack's face.

I remember when we all went on a hike on the trails surrounding campus,and then we got lost, so we had to make up new Smurf dances and told stories to entertain each other till we finally found our way back. we disappeared for about two days.

I remember when Nora remembered everyone except me :-(

But I also remember that time we hiked out to find the infamous, almost mythological mushroom house. Shaw led the happy band through the woods, sure of himself and entirely wrongly oriented; luckily, Nora and The_lex, always the technophiles, had their trusty GPS along, or we'd never have gotten out of there alive.

Especially memorable: Miah and Eelie taunting that bear while Greensmile and Novena (pre-habituated) smooched unawares just a few feet away in the treetops. Happily, Ethan's scars healed almost entirely, though rumor has it the ghost of his finger still haunts these woods.

Dozens of wrong turns later, there we were, late for class, frozen out the ass, and high on grass in the odd-octagon cobbled together (rumor had it) from old windows and boards brought out one at a time by hippies on skis. It was a tight squeeze but we managed to fit ourselves inside, we happy few nestled snug as helioshamash led the rest of the previously-unnamed strayz in a telling of ghost stories, tossing their words on the wind as it whipped around the house. We named ourselves that say, strayz and misfits all, and swore never to speak of it...

Oh, wait. Never mind. That was another crowd entirely.

No, this is the group I remember breaking into the mailroom with and putting shaving cream into the boxes of "the popular kids." Happily, the curse worked, and those pseudointellectuals have spread far and wide, where they spout free verse and philosophy while they pump unleaded in the rain. Meanwhile, we have each other, and remain happily close. Ha! Take that, you popular kids! We win again!

Boyhowdy, how could I forget the way you shouted, "Bring me my arrows of desire! Bring me my spears o'clouds unfold!" before stripping down to your long winter undies and taking off into the woods, gibbering like a maniac?

It just didn't fit into the narrative is all.

I feel like we're all in an old folks home 90 years later....

"Iiiii reeeemmmemmmbeeeer the tiiime wheeen ...

Daughter, pleeease cleaan my ass..."

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