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Wednesday, February 15, 2006 

Morbid Questions Can Be Fun

Tomorrow at dawn you go to the gas chamber.
Please give us your request for your last meal.
Entry By doctor.mom

One bowl of Pac-Man cereal from the 80's, 'cuz I just want one more taste of heaven before I go to hell...

Some friends and I used to talk about having a 'last meal' potluck -- we'd each bring the dish we'd want as our last meal on earth. We were all a little too superstitious to tempt fate like that, though.

Right now, I'd probably want a fennel and arugula salad with shaved ricotta salata. You don't want to go into that last good night all loachy and weighed-down.

Steak soup. Fois Gras. A pork and gooseliver pate, green apples, aged sharp cheese, oiled olives, some tiny gherkins.

Catfish Ettouffe, browned and not too spicy, drenched in cream roux with extra shrimp and extra sausage. Mushroom and pumpkin risotto. A good, slightly dry pinot grigio.

One of those tiny chocolate cake things with the gooeywarm melted center under gourmet vanilla bean ice cream. Vanilla Latte, sweet and halfcaf.

And a cigarette. Because when you're that close, dying a nonsmoker isn't much of a triumph anymore, and damn, after almst six weeks since my last smoke I want one so bad I wish I COULD taste it.

To hell with weighted down; I'm going into that last night belching greatness.

And a cigarette. Because when you're that close, dying a nonsmoker isn't much of a triumph anymore, and damn, after almst six weeks since my last smoke I want one so bad I wish I COULD taste it.

"It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Claudia Schiffer's pussy."

~ Bill Hicks

Meant to add this:

Vanilla Latte, sweet and halfcaf.

Because god forbid you spend your last night on earth awake and staring at the ceiling.

On the nose, Novena. On the nose.

The halfcaf is a compromise. I'd ordinarily accept wakefulness, but who wants to be cranky and wrung out in what should be some pretty zen-like last moments that next day?

Better to let the sweet mask the absence of the caffeine tang, sleep as sound as possible, and rise to face the new, last day with as much aplomb as one can muster.

I would want pie. An entire pie all to myself. Not mom's apple pie, obviously she went wrong somewhere because here I am. Nope.

Key Lime pie, from the Dessert Deli. And double chocolate caramel latte with the whiped cream.

I can't make up my mind about the caffeine thing though.

Is it REAL key lime? Yellow, not green?


Mmmmmm. Pie.

Better to let the sweet mask the absence of the caffeine tang, sleep as sound as possible, and rise to face the new, last day with as much aplomb as one can muster.

According to this scenario, at dawn you will be embracing the soundest possible sleep for all eternity. Personally, I think I'll put the sleep off that night, seeing as I'll be getting plenty a little later on.

My preference: screw the coffee, and in place of my after-last-dinner aperitif, bring me half an ounce of the best pink flake Colombian blow money can buy.* I'm gonna stay up all goddamn night thinking up something brilliant to say on the gallows.

I'd also like three beautiful 20-year-old boys, if it's not too much trouble. Thanks.


*I have never done cocaine, but I can't think of a better time to try it, eh?

Have a look at heaven.

www.dessertdelibakery.com

Choose the More Desserts link.

Key Lime Pie: Authentic key lime mousse baked in our almond crust and topped with whipped cream and lime slices.

Everything there is, well, to die for.
Key Lime = Sublime

Novena: as coke, like other drugs, can have odd results the first time, I wouldn't personally aim to try a new drug the night before death. Though E has always been tempting.

Also: instead of 3 20 year old boys, would one 60 year old guy do?

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